They may go unnoticed, but there are a few signs you should be aware of.
Carla has been in a relationship with her lover for three years. Everything was going well until she realized that he was constantly liking her friend’s photo. At first he downplayed it, but later realized that he was really uncomfortable. As the days went by, he wondered why he felt the way he did, it was a simple “I like it”. When he talked to his best friend, he understood the situation. Carla felt micro-betrayed by her lover, and it was time to tell him how she felt.
What is micro infidelity?
Over time, technology and new research have expanded various concepts, putting the issue of consent and agreements between couples on the table. There are people who support open relationships and there are others who don’t, everyone has their own way of handling relationships as they see fit.
In an interview with Bienestar de El Comercio, humanist psychotherapist and intercultural health specialist Humberto Briseño commented that micro-infidelity is a behavior that comes from what used to be called “micro-machismo” or “micro-hurts” that usually go unnoticed or underestimated by others people for “minor” or “less important” problems.
“Everything people feel or think has meaning and significance. Those who suffer from micro-betrayal seek validation because it’s a sign that the other person is making them feel insecure about their fidelity,” she notes.
In this case, Carla realized that her lovers always like her friend’s photos. By doing this constantly, it seemed that his partner was aware of his content, looking for the appropriate attention, so he had a reaction.
Methods of action against micro-betrayals:
It is very difficult to express what is bothering us in these cases, because it is something “so small” that if you try to explain it to your partner in any way, he may think that you are exaggerating. However, what we feel and what we believe is real. Briceño gives us some tips to help us get through this difficult situation.
1. Let trusted people tell them
By telling her best friend, Carla was able to acknowledge her emotions and feel better before trying to talk to her lover.
2. Organize your ideas and express how you feel
Find out what exactly bothers you. Carla didn’t really care that her lover “liked” another person’s photo, but rather that he did it all the time, and it created insecurity.
3. Set limits
You can’t blame the other person for micro-cheating, but you can express what’s bothering you and ask them to stop because it’s not healthy for them.
“In a relationship, you have to start the negotiations, both in the relationship have the right to ask for something different,” says the expert.
In addition, the conversation should acknowledge what is not up for discussion. For example, if Carla had, without explanation, forced her boyfriend not to like his friend’s photos, he wouldn’t have had to. On the other hand, if he expresses his emotions and feelings, he is free to make a decision, and if he loves her, he will take care of her well-being. It is important to reach agreements that will override the emotional stability of both.
4. There is no “I want it to be born”
A very common mistake is to think that the other person will have their own attitude to the situation. “There is no such thing. They have to say things up front. I want you to stop liking girls’ pictures because it makes me insecure,” she says.
Author: Trade / GDA
Source: Prime Ahora